The day you start giving excuses for your narcissistic boyfriend is the day you should give up on love. You have dated a toxic person for so long that you think suffering is love. Now instead of wanting the best things for you in life, you are defending cheating, physical abuse, lies and gas lighting all in the name of “Love is not easy”. Where is it written that love has to be hard? If someone is not making you happy then he/she is below your standards and you need to run, simple as that.

Moving in is a very big step when it comes to committed relationships. A lot of young people do this for the wrong reasons; pay rent for only one house and easy available sex. As a young couple the first thing you should do after moving in together is figure out a way of preventing unwanted pregnancies. Pulling out and relying on safe days is just stupid, this is how most of you get pregnant. Then your boyfriend will say the pregnancy is not his and both of you live in the same house, how!? Contraceptives is the most effective option, consult a gynecologist and know which contraceptive suits you. You are twenty something years old and you have already done more than two abortions, and by the time you hit thirty? Love and care for your health, your future depends on it.

It’s not that you don’t see the red flags, you see them but you choose to ignore them thinking they will fade away. Relationships are supposed to be a safe place for the two of you, it’s a space where you can just be yourself. If you always struggle to fit in when you are with them then that is not the person for you. Lies often begin very small but grow over time; he can lie about where he was today but this can very well be the beginning of an affair. You will see this red flag but ignore because you “love” him, No sister you don’t love him, you love his dick.

You don’t have to ask a man what plans he has for you, if he sees you in his future he will say it without you asking him. You asking about all that is a red flag and you should run! He has asked you to abort twice and you still think he will marry you?! Most girls in toxic relationships who get pregnant tend to abort a lot, he wants you to terminate the pregnancy so that he can keep fucking you; you are forgiving and always available. Stay woke, think about yourself for once. These babies you are dumping away, you will wish for a baby someday and the universe will just ignore you.

Loneliness is a mindset, if you think someone else has to be there for you to be happy then be ready for a life of disappointments. Learn how to enjoy your own company first, go out, hiking, read books, nature walks or try a new restaurant. I asked a girl recently why she was stuck in a toxic relationship and her answer was “I’m afraid of loneliness”. So he beats you, cheats, abuses you and lies to you but you don’t want to leave him because you are afraid of being alone? Relationships are supposed to be enjoyed not endured. How long will you hang in there, how many times will you forgive, how many STIs will you treat before you say enough is enough. It’s better to be happy alone than be miserable with someone.

Women are their own worst enemies, as a woman when you find a man it’s always another woman who will ruin everything. Women are very lazy when it comes to relationships, they don’t want the struggle of finding and knowing a man, they want the finished product. Your friend who is not even your friend will see you suffer with single life and say nothing, when you finally get a man she starts whispering lies to you about him like Satan. All this effort so that she can have him for herself, hoe! People you have in your circle should genuinely want to see you win, with them you should not have to move in silence because they also want the best for you. Stay woke!

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